Mapping Success: Your Personal Quest
Once I decided on my fate, the universe laid a path before me.
Success
Such a loaded word. Society bombards us with images of success - healthy, wealthy, wise, but also youthful, powerful, and attractive.
Rocketship to success! Fast growth! Be sexy! Be YOUNG! But also have authority and expertise! Work, Work, Work!
Ah, yes, these are the Western ideals. The faster, harder, and more you achieve and accomplish, the more your value rises. Throw in some Protestant work ethic, a sun sign in a 10th house, and a trunk full of trauma, and you have a recipe for success that feels like a ride where you are dodging the bullets of burnout.
That was me—a burnout queen. I experienced big highs of accomplishments followed by lows of inability to function. It wasn’t fun. It left me feeling incomplete and a failure. Why couldn’t I just produce like others? And why did my relationship with my partner fall apart when my business or work life was ‘successful’? There had to be a better way—I was sure of it.
It’s been a journey to heal my relationship with success—to change the formula. Lopsided, unbalanced living was no longer an option. I was determined to create a map of success that didn’t leave me riding the wave of unpredictability. It would be a joy to say I got this licked and that I am officially a success guru who has a perfectly balanced life, business, and relationship and that I have reached the penical of societal success!
Bow to me, The GURU of SUCCESS! Queen Starre.
Not so fast.
If you were born before the ease of today’s GPS, you would remember paper maps. There you would be on a long journey and hit a detour, scrambling to look at the alternate routes, paper scrunched, hurriedly looking at options. That's more how life goes. You don’t know what is going to come your way. You don’t know the potential detours that may come, like illness, grief, pandemics, changes in the market, CPTSD triggers, awakenings, and more.
The best-laid plans, they say…
So, how does one stay on course?
Well, for me, it has been creating my map of success. I got clear about what MY markers of success are, which included being brutally honest with myself. Minimizing what we deem important can be easy, especially if you have a history of pleasing people. But if you want to get in the driver's seat of your life, owning your desires and needs and understanding yourself better is vital.
Steps to Creating Your Map of Success
The great thing about creating your map of success is that you are in charge. You can drop the shackles of society, upbringing, and culture and decide your version of success. When you do this, you cannot get so shaken by what someone else is doing or what society tells you.
You are in charge.
If you have had a less-than-ideal upbringing where you weren’t empowered to dream, ideate, and consciously create, you may experience the dreaded feeling of ‘I have no idea what I want or what success feels like to me.’ It is okay. Start small.
Create your Compass
What is important to you? This takes some work and can change. A good jumping-off point for this is the Wheel of Life. I did this incorrectly the first time I filled it out and put what was the most important to me.
Apparently, the ‘proper’ way to use it is by putting where your satisfaction lies in each category. This can show you what is out of balance because a balanced life has equality in all the sections - supposedly. I see it differently. There are categories, like learning and growth, that are more important to me, so they are more weighty than others.
So my suggestion is to take this and FIRST highlight - what is MOST important to you. Now, get curious - why are certain categories more important than others? Is it an actual preference or a sneaky blindspot? For example, If the community section was low on your importance, is it because you are an introvert, or because you feel shy or awkward around new people, or that community has always felt like too much work? Do you see how you can use this as a personal inquiry tool?
The only way to truly know what success from the inside out feels like is to get busy getting to know yourself and your values, blind spots, and preferences. This isn’t a one-and-done activity. However, knowing what you value and why and giving yourself permission to own it creates your compass.
Personal Markers of Success
Once you have your compass, you create your markers of success. What do you already feel successful about? What is working well? Write it down, feel it in your body, and notice the nuance of the experience. Then, apply this to other areas, when you know what success feels like for you, you know when you have arrived once again. To me, this is a journey of discovery and exploration. It’s taking life by the horns and creating something amazing. If feeling powerful, successful, and in control feels foreign to you, go slow. Choose one area of your life and tinker with it until it feels good, then another, and another.
Oh, and know this: You can always do a do-over. There is no perfect path, choice, or way.
Supporting your Success
One of the best ways you can shorten the window of discontent to success is by getting the right fit support. It takes longer to go on your own. As a transformational mentor, one of my primary goals is getting clients the tools they need to be empowered and successful. It is not about what I think they need to do but supporting them in clearing out what is blocking their desired outcomes. We start by getting clear on what their intentions are, then through a process of energy work and consciousness-based coaching, we clear the muck and then support them with the tools they need. My mentorship containers are where the biggest transformation happens, but if you are curious about what this cutting-edge work is like, then book a free (no strings attached) 50-minute session.
Book Here and put Success Special in the booking link
Want More Content on Success?
Watch my series on YouTube called The Success Series: Go from Overwhelmed and Obsessed to Successful and Satisfied
Catch this popular episode: Use Radical Honesty to Fulfill Your Dreams